apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
