Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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