I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
