weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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