i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
