she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
