I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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