Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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