its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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