last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
