Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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