Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
