I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
