Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
