found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
is it fun? or sober?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
