I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your penis caused this!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
