Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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