So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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