You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
