Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
