that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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