The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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