i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
