i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
