The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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