we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
