lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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