this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
