Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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