he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
