dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
