before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
