I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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