Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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