I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
