You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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