please come you make the beer taste better
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
