I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm jealous of your bromance
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
