Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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