farters have to be the big spoon...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was like eating out sand paper
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
