I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
