I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
