She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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