Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
