so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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