so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize