you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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