Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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