Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
