Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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